Why would anyone want to have anal sex?

For many people, anal sex is taboo. In the 1990's, anal sex was given a bad reputation because HIV, the virus that causes AIDS is most easily transmitted by anal intercourse, however, when enjoyed in the context of a close relationship with one person it can be as safe as any other kind of sex. But some people love anal sex. Others hate it. Others haven't tried it yet and are curious. Many people are attracted to it because it's so taboo and mysterious.

Does anal sex hurt? Anal sex shouldn't be painful, if it does you're doing something wrong. With enough lubricant and care, it's possible to enjoy anal sex as a safe and fulfilling part of your sex life. However, some people may never like it, and if your lover is one of those people, respect their limits. Don't force the idea upon them. Can anal sex actually give pleasure? The pleasure of anal sex is derived from many things. Doing something "dirty" appeals to many people. You may want to try something different to add extra spice to your sex life. The physical sensations during anal sex are uniquely different from anything else. The rectum is lined with nerve endings, some of which signal the brain to 'reward' you with good feelings when stimulated. For men, the prostate gland can be a source of powerful pleasure. And for a thrusting penis, the ring of the anus can be a new and strong sensation to enjoy.

What do I need to have anal sex?

The most important pieces of advice anyone can give on anal sex are: lubricants, condoms, and patience. We have a number of suitable options available in our online store. Don't buy anything oil-based, make sure the lubricant you buy is rated "condom compatible." Nothing else will do. Oil-based lubricants such as Vaseline or baby oil will destroy a condom long before you're done having sex. And many oil-based substances will coat the lining of the rectum, providing a haven for many potential infections.

Do I have to use a condom?

Even if you're sure that both you and your partner are disease free, using a condom is still a sensible precaution to take. The rectum is home to lots of infectious bacteria that can cause burning and urethritis of the penis. It will also help you clean up afterwards.

I'm worried that anal sex will be messy

Anal sex should not be messy. Most first-timers fear that it will be, but most people can tell when they have to go. A condom will help with cleanup, of course, and if you're really concerned, a commercial enema will help beforehand.

How do we prepare for anal sex?

Initial penetration is always the most difficult part of anal sex - the anus is a tight ring of flesh at the opening of the rectum designed to control the elimination of bodily waste. It is partially under voluntary control, and partially reflexive to stimulation. Your partner has to relax, and you have to go slow to coax it into opening enough to receive your penis.

Start with a well-lubricated finger or a slim dildo. The dildo is more realistic, but your fingers can flex and feel what they're doing inside. Slide one finger in slowly, letting her adjust to it. Take your finger all the way out, and then push it back in again. Give her anus time to get used to this kind of activity. Then slide a second finger in. Consider how big your penis is and realize that two fingers are probably enough.

What position should we use for anal sex? For actual intercourse, picking a position can be important. Many women want to be on top, to regulate how fast penetration occurs. Others like to lie on their stomachs, or crouch doggy-style, or to be penetrated while lying on their sides. Choose what's most comfortable before you start. Control yourself, take your time and use lots of lubricant. People who like anal sex say that "too much lube is almost enough." Listen to her - if she tells you it starts to hurt, back off. Eventually, a time will come during your lovemaking where her anus will relax enough to allow the head of your cock to 'pop' into her. If she is completely relaxed, that pop should feel completely painless. Now just because you're inside her is no reason to start pounding away. Let her body adjust and take your time. Eventually you will both be ready for more.

Can I get pregnant from anal sex?

It is not technically possible to get pregnant from anal sex; there is no way for semen to get from the rectal tract to the vaginal tract. However, anal sex is still not a very good method of birth control. Semen leaking from the anus after intercourse may drip across the perineum (the short stretch of skin separating vulva and anus) and cause what is known as a 'splash' conception. The failure rate for this is surprisingly high! 8% of couples who use anal sex as a method of birth control have babies each year.

What if I don't like it?

You may find that anal sex just isn't for you. That's fine; nothing says that you have to indulge in something that doesn't make you feel good.